


A Murder Most Fowl

by AsherWritesAStory



Series: The Redrum Diaries [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Journalist Tweek, M/M, Slight Mention of Blood, briefly mention a dead body, serial killer craig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-08-13 21:50:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16480400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsherWritesAStory/pseuds/AsherWritesAStory
Summary: He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s  waist, “Because I’m really fucked up in the head.”A small, almost nonexistent smile made its way onto his face as his arms wrapped around the taller man’s neck, “so… I’m dating a serial killer?”Craig lightly kissed the top of Tweek’s head, “guess so…”





	A Murder Most Fowl

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there. Check out my Tumblr!
> 
> Tumblr : masked-vigilante.tumblr.com

Halloween. A day when kids dressed up in costumes of their favorite things while going door to door to get a various assortment of candy from the people in their neighborhoods.

There was a light drizzle of rain and a gentle breeze filling the air… the perfect way to spend the day.

Leaves had fallen, lining the sidewalks with various shades of oranges and reds, the leaves ranging in all different shapes and sizes.

Tweek put on his witch hat and grabbed the bowl of candy that was on his kitchen counter before going outside and sitting on his front porch.

It was nice seeing jack-o-lanterns lining everyone’s porches, seeing them all lit up with small flames from the tiny candles inside. Practically everyone on his street had their porch light on and it brought a smile to his face, warming his heart with happiness.

He sat in the light blue lawn chair on his porch and placed the candy bowl on the small table beside him. 

Everything was set. Now all he needed were some trick or treaters… and Craig. But Craig was a cop and he had to work tonight by doing patrols.

Tweek understood that but it still didn’t stop him from wanting Craig to be seated next to him in the empty yellow chair and handing out candy to all the kids who stopped by. 

Street lights dimmed and the wind picked up slightly, causing leaves to dance around in little tornados on the ground. Kids and their parents or older siblings started to flood the streets, his little cul de sac getting so much attention.

He feared he would run out of candy before the night came to a close. 

He hoped it wouldn’t come to that though.

But as time passed by and the night started to wind down, he got a call from Craig. It was a nice and unexpected surprise.

“Hey Craig!” He was ecstatic to speak to him, he absolutely loved hearing Craig’s voice. 

_“Hey baby listen… I need your help with something.”_

“What?! Oh my god, are you okay?! What hap-“

_“Calm down Tweek, I’m fine. I just need your help with something is all.”_

A short pause in conversation. Tweek heard Craig grunt and a noise that he could only describe as metal being kicked.

_“I’ll text you the location.”_

“Craig what’re you doing?”

But there was no answer. Only dead air on the other end of the line. Craig has already ended the call.

And within seconds his phone chimed with several incoming texts from Craig. 

_I’m between Kepler & Boyd and the empty shopping plaza they just built._

_And please hurry._

The ‘please hurry’ message worried the blonde. He knew Craig said he was fine and that nothing was wrong but he couldn’t help it… there was something unsettling about it, something off putting that wasn’t sitting well in his mind. 

Do Tweek blew out the candles inside the pumpkins in his front porch and hurried inside to grab his keys off the hook in his kitchen.

He ran out the front door and looked at the destination Craig had sent him one more time. 

Kepler & Boyd...he found it odd that Craig was in a back alley by a law firm but Tweek wasn’t one to ask questions.

Especially not when Craig needed him to hurry. He could walk, sure, but driving would be so much quicker. He opened his garage, ran to his car and backed out probably a little quicker then he should’ve and drove a little faster than the speed limit in order to make it to Craig.

He made it in record time. The alley came into view. He parked quickly and practically ran to where he needed to be, hair blowing in the wind and his boots crunching the leaves under his feet. 

“Craig?” Tweek was quiet when he approached, hearing a rustling noise and something banging up against a meta object.

“Craig?” He was a little louder this time, cautiously peaking into the shadows in front of him.

And that’s when he saw something horrific, something he wished he would’ve never seen; a puddle of blood and a limp hand laying on the ground. His heart was racing, beating a million miles a minute, feeling like it would burst through his chest cavity at any given moment. 

“Jesus Christ!”

Tweek pulled out his phone in a panic, hands shaking as he turned in the flashlight with trembling fingers. 

And before him he saw it; the lifeless body of a man laying in a puddle of his own blood. Stab wounds to the chest and the corners of his mouth sliced up to form the ‘joker smile’.

It was then that Tweek realized that he was looking at a crime scene, and a very fresh one at that. It was another gruesome murder caused by the killer the police had been searching for for so long. The person Tweek has written countless articles about in the local newspaper. 

It wasn’t the body that bothered him. He had seen his fair share of them. What bothered him the most was the fact that Craig was nowhere to be seen and he was too much of a nervous wreck to get closer to the body to investigate.

“Craig?!” Panic had set in. Anxiety skyrocketing and his body trembling with fear as his phone slipped from his hand and fell to the ground by his shoes.

“Tweek,” he felt arms wrapping around his middle, his body being turned around.

Tweek’s first instinct was to punch, to hit. Anything that would help him break away from the arms that held him. 

“Tweek, hey- ow! Tweek, stop! It’s me!” The figure standing in front of the blonde grabbed hold of his wrists, “it’s Craig!”

“Craig…” Tweek looked up and smiled brightly.

It was Craig! He was okay!

Tweek threw his arms around Craig tightly, gripping at the fabric of his shirt and nuzzling his face against his boyfriend’s chest, “you scared me and-“

Something was off. This wasn’t Craig’s police uniform.

So Tweek lifted his head away and looked up.

“What’re you wearing?”

He backed up, looking Craig up and down and really taking in what he was wearing the best he could in the dimly lit alleyway.

Black hoodie, black pants, black fingerless gloves, combat boots… a black feathered crow plague doctor mask resting on top of his head.

Tweek’s eyes when wide when they saw the mask, his arms dropping from Craig’s shirt as he backed up slowly, his back hitting the brick wall before he slid down to the ground, knees coming up to his chest.

“You- you’re- I-“ he couldn’t finish his sentence. He couldn’t even finish a thought. His hands went to his head, fingers tangling into his hair as he started to tug at his blonde curls.

“Tweek listen to me,” Craig was kneeling down in front of him and gently coaxing his fingers out of his hair. “I know this is a lot to take in but-“

“But nothing!” It was obvious Tweek was angry. It was obvious Tweek was hurt and on the verge of tears, “you’re the serial killer! You’ve killed innocent people Craig!”

Craig’s face dropped into a solemn expression, “I know and I’m sorry…”

“Sorry? You’re sorry?! Sorry doesn’t make up for all of this though! Sorry doesn’t bring the dead back to life!” Tweek was shouting but he didn’t care. He was hurt, he was betrayed, he was lied to, “why would you do this?!”

“Because think about it Tweek, I’ve got the perfect cover. I’m a cop so no one would ever expect me, a cop, to be committing a chain of serial murders around the city.” Craig was smirking, feeling proud of himself, “but I’m so sorry I lied to you…”

“This is serious Craig, stop apologizing to me!”

Craig sighed as his eyes drifted over to look at the corpse lying to their right, “he was a hobo if it makes you feel any better…”

Tweek sighed before leaning forward and resting his head on Craig’s shoulder, “why do you do it?” His voice was soft, “why do you kill people?”

Craig hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Tweek’s waist, “Because I’m really fucked up in the head.”

A small, almost nonexistent smile made its way onto Tweek’s face as his arms wrapped around the taller man’s neck, “so… I’m dating a serial killer?”

Craig lightly kissed the top of Tweek’s head, “guess so…”

“What’re we going to do about him then?”

Tweek lifted his head and looked over at the corpse. Craig followed suit, studying the lifeless body before shrugging slightly.

“I’ll head back to my cruiser and call this into the station. Say I found him while on patrol,” Craig stood, pulling Tweek up with him.

The taller man let go of the blonde and quickly began removing his mask, his hoodie… anything that was out of the ordinary for him to be wearing right now, “then I’ll say I called you to the crime scene so you could get started on a report for it.”

“You want me to call my boss then?”

Craig quickly tossed his discarded articles of clothing into a backpack he had hidden behind the dumpster, “if you could.”

Tweek studied Craig for a while, watched as he put his uniform back on.

“So that’s it then? I’m just going to report on these murders pretending that I don’t know who the killer is and pretty much help you get away with it by becoming your accomplice?”

Craig shrugged nonchalantly as he put his backpack over his shoulder, “basically.”

Tweek was silent for a moment, his eyes going back over to the body to study the lifeless figure, “guess I’m as fucked up as you are then.”

Craig laughed slightly before pulling Tweek into a hug and kissed the top of his head again, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween!
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed my spooky piece today!  
> I wrote it in correlation with an ask blog I’m running over on tumblr called @the-redrum-diaries so check it out if you have a minute.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time out of you day to read this, I really appreciate it.
> 
> As always, feedback is always welcomed.


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